This is not it

So Andy's found his place in the world. Meanwhile, I'm as lost as ever.

There's never been a place that clicked for me. Just the people. A place is just somewhere to be at some point in time. Work is just something to fill your time and make money. It's all pointless, really. I get more detached everyday from everything. To the point where writing isn't fun anymore. Or maybe it never was.

I never thought of home as a place. I don't think I've ever been really anywhere long enough to develop that. I feel comfortable in certain places, like HK, Gboro and CH. But even so, when the people I knew were gone, it's a completely different place.

And that's when I decided that home is the people. For me, anyway.

But now I think maybe it's really more a reason to belong. And people fulfills that for the most part.

A few days ago, I shot again. It was a boring panel discussion. Book signing, etc. But that was home to me. Behind the camera, where all that matters was aperture, shutter speed, exposure, framing, lens choice, depth of view, coverage, story, expression, gestures, lighting...

and then I passed out at a corner of the dark auditorium. It was very reminiscent of old days at the DTH and at N&R. All I had to worry about was to shoot.

Except I needed a reason. This was for APA, so that was alright. I have another boring gig on thursday. But I get to shoot again. Maybe it'll look cool.

Already getting sick of working on Web sites... but it's a job and the side gigs also pay decent.

And now... off to let life blur by me again...