I got nothin'

This is not it

2008-11-02T23:31:00.004-05:00

So Andy's found his place in the world. Meanwhile, I'm as lost as ever.

There's never been a place that clicked for me. Just the people. A place is just somewhere to be at some point in time. Work is just something to fill your time and make money. It's all pointless, really. I get more detached everyday from everything. To the point where writing isn't fun anymore. Or maybe it never was.

I never thought of home as a place. I don't think I've ever been really anywhere long enough to develop that. I feel comfortable in certain places, like HK, Gboro and CH. But even so, when the people I knew were gone, it's a completely different place.

And that's when I decided that home is the people. For me, anyway.

But now I think maybe it's really more a reason to belong. And people fulfills that for the most part.

A few days ago, I shot again. It was a boring panel discussion. Book signing, etc. But that was home to me. Behind the camera, where all that matters was aperture, shutter speed, exposure, framing, lens choice, depth of view, coverage, story, expression, gestures, lighting...

and then I passed out at a corner of the dark auditorium. It was very reminiscent of old days at the DTH and at N&R. All I had to worry about was to shoot.

Except I needed a reason. This was for APA, so that was alright. I have another boring gig on thursday. But I get to shoot again. Maybe it'll look cool.

Already getting sick of working on Web sites... but it's a job and the side gigs also pay decent.

And now... off to let life blur by me again...

My name is

2008-10-22T19:32:00.002-04:00

I woke up one day, and my name did not feel like my name.

I could not identify with it. It just felt very detached from me.

It was actually semi-scary, to not be attached to a name.

It sort of feel like I was falling out of the reality I knew.

But really, isn't my name just a construction of society? I mean, the name most people know me by isn't really my name. And who knows if my name is really my name. It could've been something else and no one ever told me.

I am reminded of a story from somewhere, where it was said that to know the name of something or someone is to have power (Egyptian, Celtic, Arthurian legends. You could say it's also hinted at in Christian beliefs.) over them. So to avoid potential tragedy, you'd never reveal your real name. In fact (or fiction), some people don't even know their own real names. And so there were also stories I've read from I dunno where, in which people search for their own names.

So that was my attempt at some vital information like with Lori Beth DenBerg, for your everyday life.

When the world collapses onto you all at once.

2008-10-17T01:06:00.003-04:00

Sometimes it can be a nice realization that, hey, I'm still alive in the world.

Other times, I'd rather lie in bed all day and think about the good old times.

And then, there are those other other times, when all you want to do is get a hair cut.

That's all I looked forward to today. The one thing that I can do without thinking much about it. And possibly make a new barber/stylist/hair-cutter-person friend. Maybe she would be cute. Possibly hot. Hopefully fun to talk to.

But first, I'd have to sit through a meeting with a client who takes 15 minutes to say something that should only take one.

There's a difference between being just detail-oriented and being repetitive about the same detail for 30 minutes.

Keep a smile on and nod. It will be over. Thank God the internet stopped working at her house.

I hope she never reads this. I would be out of a pretty good client.

Starving.

Good thing UNICEF decided to sell Chinese food at Foggy Bottom for 5 bucks. Not only does it apparently save children, ("CHINESE FOOD FOR 5 DOLLARS! HELP SAVE SOME CHILDREN!" still ring in my ears) but it also saved my stomach and a few extra dollars I might have spent at an over-priced D.C. restaurant (a.k.a. every f-ing place in this b. — except Julia's Empanadas, which is tasty and cost like 3 bucks).

So yeh, I save some children, my stomach and my wallet today. I knew I liked lo-mein for some reason.

I wish they had water or something though, to wash down the MSG.

[insert errands to Radioshack and Wachovia here] (of note, Wachovia front desk girl was cute, talkative and went to Maryland. Should have gotten the digits. D-m, always forget about that until after the fact. It's ok, at least I talked to her. Practice for the next cute Wachovia front desk girl, slash potential sugar mama.) (also, apparently I don't know what a check looks like. "This is not a check" — Teller.)

Long digression. Some discussions about what I should take for my next job.

Epiphany.

Hair cut.

Yes.

The moment came. I didn't really expect much of anything. Just cut my hair, make me head feel lighter and I can handle the world again.

But I was greeted with the nicest Ethiopian girl who had a voice/accent that I just realized sounded like Selma Hayek (hott.), which may be the reason I enjoyed her company. Nice haircut. I don't usually get my hair washed there. But wth, why not, today, may need it. Long.

I was totally unprepared for possibly the most comfortable and relaxing hair wash I have ever experienced. Yet.

Hence my epiphany and turning point for the novel that was my day. Very short novel. Incoherent as well. Possibly inspired by The Life Before My Eyes? (The only good part was the ending.)

Got new hair styling... thing... (no word to describe this stuff. gunk? looked kind of like nickelodeon GAK)

Gave a big tip.

Pretty much decided not to take the Maryland gig.

I mean, if I can get closer to my dream now, I think I would rather save doing porn for a rainy day. (ahem, hyperbolic analogy/parallel/reference to comment made to my previous post. I don't actually intend on doing that sort of thing. Unless the other party is really hot. And I get paid a lot. Then maybe. But still probably not. Gotta think of the career.)

me.gotoAndStop("mahBedz");

Back to Typing to Noone

2008-10-13T19:41:00.005-04:00

So, trying not to fall out of updating.

Tall people are cool.

I wish I was tall.

I went into an interview last week at the University of Maryland at College Park, for a flash developer position at the National Foreign Language Center. (So much for journalism, right?)

The receptionist/secretary/person was a really tall guy. Really. Tall.

But it wouldn't even have phased me if not for what happened after the Committee of Twelve (ok, not really 12, but that gives it a little flava. Sounds almost apocalyptic.) whispered instructions over the phone to their anything-but-little assistant.

He put down the phone and slowly stood up from the chair that was way too small for him. And if he were a few inches taller, I'd imagine he'd have to bent his head slightly to the right, just to be able to stand up. Either that or poke his head straight through the ceiling. (But I guess that latter option doesn't make any sense, cause then he wouldn't be able to move. It's hard to put into words what I am picturing in my head right now. Let's just say that it involves a very Mr. Fantastic sort of neck.)

But I digress (as usual. and always parenthetically.).

It was hard to tell if he was being nice in his quiet movements, or if he was secretly plotting the doom of my flat feet which were trapped in uncomfortable semi-dress shoes. (Don't you just love how society declares that anything that impresses or viewed as "nice" must make you suffer physically?)

In any case, he said softly, "follow me."

Oh, such ominous words.

Every time I hear those words, my mind is sent to the times of Tom and Jerry and Looney Tunes. Where a person would say "follow me," or more often, "walk this way," and the writers would make those subtle semantic jokes they like so much. The "follower" would imitate the motions of the leader to the dot.

But even if I wanted to do something like that, I couldn't in this situation.

It seemed like the word "me" had not even left his lips and he was already halfway out the door. Meanwhile, I was still processing the words 20 feet away.

The whole time, I ran quietly behind him to catch up, afraid that he would notice and ashamed of my own genetically disposition toward a more physically lower stature. For every one step he took, I must have taken 5.

I was only glad to be greeted with an offer of water at the end of our journey through the winding halls that reminded me of my elementary school with its semi-sterile smell and bad acoustics, and the stairway's tiled walls looked like it belonged more rightfully in a middle school locker room.

And it was in this state of mind that I entered the inquisition of the Committee of Twelve. (to be continued...???)

So. Tall people. They are lucky.

Did you know that for every extra inch of height, a person earns an extra $1000 a year?

A missed few days.

2008-09-29T17:11:00.001-04:00

Been busy with finishing Web sites...

and a rave.

Now Dow is down 777 points. At least it's a lucky number.

More later.

Yellow backwards is Wolley

2008-09-23T21:14:00.001-04:00

As I sit and stare straight ahead on the metro. The big letters hold my attention. "Yellow."

Nothing is black and white.

Metronoming....

2008-09-20T23:44:00.002-04:00

Swinging back and forth. Now I'm in the middle. When I start working and getting into things, everything else seems trivial. No time to be happy or sad, healthy or unhealthy, there is only what I do.

Currently: building my own AS3 video player. Even though, I was told not to do it. I just feel better that I can control everything on the Web site I am working on. It's almost done. I just need to put together the volume controls together tomorrow. Should be easy. And then I'll skin it to look kick ass. Plop it into the html, create the main nav. CSS up the about page... Maybe touch up some design elements. Woo. This is kind of fun... If I only could put this much effort into my own Web site... But that's next... along with Mary's site. And then I would have done 3 kick-ass sites. Hopefully land me a job. Or maybe a few more gigs, at least.

Yeh...

The worst kind of feeling

2008-09-17T19:55:00.003-04:00

If you were to go through all my blogs, all my journals, all my rantings, you could probably find that I write about this a lot. Maybe it's the sort of masochistic exercise that I believe may make me feel better. Welcome to the pity party. I hate feeling it. But if I were in control, why would I want to?

It's really easy to become the total opposite. Love can easily become hatred; happiness, sadness.

It always make me remember Catullus. And that poster that a girl in my Latin class made.

"Odi et amo, Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior." - Catullus 85

"I hate and I love, Why do I do this perhaps you ask.

I do not know, but I feel it and I am tortured."

And this feeling just makes you want to be with someone. But the right person is never there, and never has been.

And you are flying through the air and it's almost tranquil. It's not happiness because it can't be this empty but it's not sadness because your heart is racing as if you were in love.

And whether it's window that's a little too clean, or a guy who just learned to ride a bike when he's nearly twenty, there's an obstacle that ends your flight a little too early. And you flutter to the ground with now useless wings.

Maybe that person was waiting just beyond. But you will never know.

When you think about all that, life just becomes a ticking clock. A metronome keeping the pace of your heart and you footsteps, your breath and your pulse.

And you just wait. Until the battery dies.

In the meantime, the realization of how selfish these thoughts are make me think about other people. I'm happy for a lot of them. I'm sad for a lot of others. But generally I'm just despaired by how people treat each other. I'd like to think I was optimistic once. I'd like to think I laughed a lot and was happy and nice a lot. I hope I was. I always thought that I would be happy if I could make the people around me happy. The trouble is, I haven't found anybody to dedicate my life to, to make smile everyday and to devote every tick of my living clock to make life worth living.

But there's still time. I think. I hope.

Sing along

2008-09-15T19:25:00.002-04:00

It happens when you least expect it. When there's no reason for it. And even, there's every reason for it not to happen.

But sometimes I just look at the sky and can't help but smile.

And I think about why I would be happy at all and come up with all these possible reasons, which only make me happier.

And tomorrow doesn't matter. And life seems like the biggest concert you've been to and all you want to do is to sing along.

Double you tea eff.

2008-09-14T22:24:00.002-04:00

I just saw the best wtf movie ever. Burn after reading. It was hilarious. I laughed so hard, I started crying.

Right before movie though, as I was walking into the theater in chinatown, there were two kids leaning against a column and I almost did a double take because I could've sworn I heard them direct some racial slurs at me as I walked past. I have never heard them spoken before. I thought that was the thing of the 40s and 50s or something. I was almost just semi-impressed that they even knew of the existence of these words which I thought to be extinct. Seriously, I don't think I have heard this word spoken in English since my history class in high school in an academic context. (Although I have heard it in Chinese a few times, doesn't have the same feet-stopping effect though). But I chocked it up to my imagination and just left. But about 3/4 of me wanted to stop and ask "Did you just say what I think you said?"

But, then again, words have power only because we give it power.

Or maybe I'm too lax with confronting this sort of thing, or perhaps guilty myself of participating in such racist mockery as well. When it comes from friends and family, to a certain extent, it seems to be jest and an act of "because we're so close, we can say that sh- and be ok". But maybe it shouldn't be ok. Maybe that only leads the rest of the world thinking it's ok to say these things and then one step further, to act upon the thoughts that these words may encourage.

This small incident also brought to mind another one that happened to me not long after I got to DC. In a GameStop. I was browsing some games and I could've sworn these little 12-year-olds or maybe even younger were muttering racial slurs/mockery directed at me. I had also just chocked it up to my imagination and ignored it. Maybe it was just me thinking that everyone's talking about me, when they are not. But still, the thought of such young kids in the 21st century in the capital of the US saying this sh- is despicable to say the least.

I mean, are these the things we are teaching to the next generation? That racial slurs directed at people of any race is no biggie? Am I making too big a deal out of this?

On top of all this, DC began a program of paying cash to students in middle school for going to school and behaving well. Up to $100 a month.

That is paying kids for doing what they are supposed to do? For avoiding doing bad things? We seriously have to pay people to do that?

Why don't we pay bank robbers to stop robbing banks? Offer sex to rapists so they don't go raping people?

I think this just exacerbates a growing mentality of insincerity. We're teaching the notion that you should be a good functional member of society, not because it's the right thing to do, not because it would advance and benefit your future, but because we will give you $100 a month.

But, on the other side of the fence, that's not unlike giving kids an allowance. You get it if you are good, not if you are bad. It's certainly a practical, business-like solution. But $100 a month is kind of a lot.

More wtf moments:

Today after the movie, I was approached by 3 different sets of people asking for directions. I'm glad that I appear trustworthy and responsible enough for people think that a) I actually am a "native" to the area b) I can give clear directions and c) I would be willing to impart said directions.

So I was happy that they approached me.

Now, if they only knew... how poor a sense of direction I have... I have actually pointed multiple people in the opposite direction from where they needed to go before... not to mess with them, but because I genuinely believed it to be the right way... (The funny thing was on at least 2 occasions, there was actually a rather large sign on the other side of the street with a huge arrow pointing to where they wanted to go... neither of us saw it...)

But yeh, they didn't know that I drove up into Virginia from central NC when I was trying to head due east to the Outer Banks...

Poor, misguided tourists. If only you had not judged my knowledge of the city by my appearance and knew that the only way I can get around these days is to look at the map on my iPhone...

Faces

2008-09-12T13:29:00.003-04:00

I forgot to elaborate on the "concerns" I talked about in my previous post.

Essentially it centers on privacy and the faces we put on to interact with different people.

My main concern is people keep on saying, be careful what you put on your blog. Employers are looking into that and facebook, etc. etc. And all that has been floating around for the past few years... nothing really new.

But still, I think I do a good job of keeping some things to myself, only the very few. Mostly because I value openness. Some people think I keep too much to myself, though. I think only really because I'm really not keeping it secret, but that I don't understand it myself either or am ambivalent about something. This sounds vague... But I guess it's like if someone asks me what I think about something or how I feel about something and I just shrug my shoulders, I'm not trying to hide anything, I really just don't know, don't care or it wouldn't have made a positive contribution to the conversation if I said anything.

Digression is the enemy of blog entries.

So really, I guess, it's not about privacy as much as the masks and faces that we wear everyday.

Like superheroes.

Spiderman is my favorite superhero and superman is not too shabby either (notice both are journalists).

As with a lot of superheros, privacy and identity are issues exaggerated from very real issues that we as commonfolk face.

I rememeber watching a special once where the psychology of a superhero was being analyzed. What I remember from it was that we have a different identity at work, at home, with our friends, with our lovers, etc. Much like the alter-egos of Peter Parker and Clark Kent.

Eventually we are faced with a dilemma. Am I Spiderman or am I Peter Parker?

Similiarly, should my life dictate my job or should my job dictate my life?
What do I put first? My career, my family, my friends, my religion, my political beliefs....

I went to Target the other day with a friend and this girl. We walked down an aisle and saw one of those ornaments that says "FAMILY" and other that says "friends" in a block of wood.

They happen to be next to literally a bundle of sticks (which you can gather in the woods in like 10 minutes) that was priced at 30 dollars...

But that's not the point. Matt pulled on the "friends" block and said to Liz: "The difference between you and me and is that I value this and you value this [pointing at the "FAMILY" block as he spoke the last three words]"

And I thought about me, what do I value? (Why is it always about me? I don't like thinking about it. It's kind of selfish..)

And I didn't know. I know my family would say I value my friends more. My gut instincts tell me that too. But the way I have lived my life doesn't necessarily say that. Family is still important to me. I have an obligation to that above really anything else. But that doesn't mean I have to talk to you everyday or do special things for you all the time. You already know that you are special and important to me and that's nothing for me that can make our relationship be anything else. It's permanent and always there. I think that's I try to put more effort on my friends, the fear that it's not permanent and that it might, as it has in the past, fade away.

I don't know where I am going with this. This post was too heavy and pointless.

In a nutshell:
1. Be care what to put on blogs and facebook pages. But use them to network.
2. The beginnings of an identity crisis?

Some meaning to the Title. And no pink today, but one.

2008-09-10T23:49:00.003-04:00

I only saw one person wear pink today.

That was my main thought of the day. This should make more sense when I tell you that I use Head and Shoulders to wash my hair. (I couldn't find a link to the commercials... but hopefully you know what I'm talking about. If not, watch more TV.)

Before I go any further, I should put in a plug for my work... So here it is, my work of the day:

It's an older one, but hey, it's been a while since I posted anything. And my portfolio site isn't really to grace the world just yet. The new version anyway...

And now, back to the regularly scheduled programming:

I got a message from a friend a few hours ago who said she found my blog and thought it was amusing. And I was glad. A) that people (or person...) actually read it. and B) I at least entertained one person in my life. I'm not as boring as I thought, eh?

But that raised also some concerns, which evidently is what I named this blog "I got nothin'".

No, I'm not trying to belittle myself or say I have no talent and thereby either drive potential employers away or passive-aggressively try to guilt you into giving me a job. (But hey, if it works, I'll take it.)

But really, when I first started, I tried to come up with a purpose for the blog. And, seriously, I got nothin'. So that's what I named it.

But thoughts and dreams, I guess that's what I want this blog to be. I'll try not to go into the what I had for lunch or dinner, or where I went shopping today.

And I'll try to keep it short. And regular.

I'm half an hour late today, though. I wanted to post on all even days. But I left my keys at work. But I also wanted to post on 9/11. So I guess now I killed 2 birds with one stone.

Well, this post totally did not go how it was planned out in my head 2 hours ago. It was much more articulate and witty. I was also going to tie in some current events and some actually important and relevant things to give more purpose to my blog. But alas, it's already 1230am.

So let me quickly end by answering my friend's question:
I am looking for other opportunities right now. My current employer may not continue my contract, though he may give me freelance work.

It's easy to wear green.

2008-09-08T22:07:00.005-04:00

Something cool I made in Flash for NatGeo. It's a navigational tool for this new technology by Microsoft, called Photosynth. Not excited that the actually photosynths only works on PCs, but hey, got my work out, so it's cool.

Ok, so what's with the green thing in the title?

Well, I just noticed today that a lot of people were wearing green. So, that's all. It's kind of like sometimes on Wednesdays I see a lot of people wearing pink.

Dance, robot, dance!

2008-09-06T16:58:00.006-04:00

Since I can't really think of anything to say today, I decided to put up this video of a 3d animation I did almost a year ago, also available on YouTube.

Grow up, Google

2008-09-04T23:55:00.006-04:00

Among the top five companies I trusted and respected was Google.

That is, until last week.

NatGeo (the magazine. the online part.) decided to launch an advertising campaign for a puzzle generator we have on the Web site for MyShot/YourShot.

And so I, being the Design/Development Assistant (aka office programming b*tch, apparently), was graced with the task of making banner and tower ads for the Web site. Originally they were designed for internal use, and I made them in AS3. A week into development (when they were done), I was told they were to be used through Google flash ads

That was ok. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. Just add in a few lines of code and it would be done, right?

Little did I know...

these "few" lines of code would haunt me for 2 months.

For 2 months (possible hyperbole), I tried to fit those lines of code in. And it works. On our server. And possibly with every server in existence. Except Google.

Sure Google is one of the leading pioneers in internet innovations. Sure working for Google must be a dream come true for our generation.

But tell me, why would such a company say that they supported ads built in AS3 when the reality is otherwise. (I was specifically emailed that there was a problem from the "back-end" programmers. Yes, ambiguously named "tech" person. When you don't have an answer, push the responsibility to someone else.)

Why would you, a forward thinking (I hope) company, want me to go back and redo my work in an older language, using older technology? This is like asking me to convert my mp3 track of MIA's "Paper Planes" so that you can play it on your 8-track player thingie (what are they called, anyway?).

I mean, really? Google? You're killing me, smalls.

So yeah, Google just fell out of my top five. Maybe 6, right now.

Lessons learned:

1.) Never work with marketing folks again.
2.) Do not trust people over the phone who have ambiguously gendered names as well as voices.

Work, Eat, Sleep, repeat

2008-09-03T20:52:00.003-04:00

An unusual thing about days that repeat themselves: sometimes it can be kind of comforting.

That was yesterday. It went kind of blissful, in the sort of mechanical way that perhaps... a cold efficient factory might be. Everything was in its place and went according to the plan. No birds in the window. No butterfly in front of a bike. No speeding car in Africa.

Very much just waiting. Something to come along. Like sitting on the beach, listening to the waves crash by, waiting for the sun to set.

But then there are days like today. That start with a paper cut. So that all day, it is amazingly difficult to type. I'm not even sure it was a paper cut. I didn't even handle really any paper at all.

And so it began with a search. For a band-aid. And of course, medical is closed. I thought security would have one. And after 10 minutes of extensive searching through comprehensive first aid kits twice the size of any of my luggage back home, the guard finally handed me the band-aid. By which time, I might as well have gone across the street and bought some at one of the ubiquitous CVS pharmacies.

Incidentally Ivy showed up at security. One of the interns I met through another intern over the summer. She didn't really seem to acknowledge me much. I think I semi-made it awkward by hanging around to say hi, but then she was busy trying to get something done with security and I already bandaged my index finger. So I left.

And the rest of the day just kinda... was. Work, Eat, Sleep, and tomorrow, repeat. Until I'm out of a job. At which point I will just eat and sleep.

An Extended Weekend Spent.... Where did it go?

2008-09-01T18:04:00.002-04:00

A bird flew into my window today. Thud.

I thought the guys moving in next door threw something at me.

I didn't know what to do.

My first instinct was to look for first aid gloves so I could try to take care of it.

But then I remembered that I used up my last pair a while ago in Africa when Nick got hit by a car.

And I didn't want to catch illness from it. Not so much that I would get sick but people who interact with me might.

In retrospect, I should've done something.

It's always like that, isn't it?

In retrospect.

If I had only known.

So instead, on the only side of the glass. I hoped that it was only stunned. That it would get up and fly away.

It was still breathing. Then he spread his wings and almost stood up.

And as sudden as he moved, he stopped. He folded his wings to his side and blinked one last time. He gave up. Content to accept the fate that was handed to him by the window. Where he saw an opportunity and a entrance to another world, only death awaits.

And I just watched.

And the 4-day weekend was over.

108 Weeks Later

2008-08-30T19:12:00.002-04:00

College is over. Got a degree in Journalism. So what now? Honestly, all that stuff from 108 weeks ago (108, according to LiveJournal, apparently I cross posted a lot) is probably the most photo I've done in a consecutive amount of time. Kind of sad if you think about it. But I don't want to.

So now what?

That's the question, isn't it?

Now I have to make all these grown -up decisions I didn't even think would be a problem until now.

Met some new people, said good bye to a lot of new and old (but not age-wise) people.

And I'm left here. Watching each passing day with the same look on my face. A very transparent look, too, apparently, since people keep asking me what's wrong? What's wrong? Well, if I knew the answer to that question, I wouldn't have this look on my face.

I jumped off a mini-cliff into a rock quarry a few months ago. I didn't do it right.Kind of hesitated at the edge. But only my body hesitated. My heart was already halfway out into the air. I think that's the best way to describe what I'm feeling right now. My heart a few steps ahead of my body and my mind trying to make sense of it all and just gave up in despair.

Just go on ahead of me, my mind says. And let me know how it goes.

Meanwhile my body grazes the branches growing out from the cliff before it plunges into the water below. And everything grows dark.

Ugh, sickening emo metaphorical imagery crap. I can't believe I just wrote that sh

Atlanta, then chasing guys in the heat

2006-07-31T19:56:00.000-04:00

a story on the day being hot sent me out to chase down a guy who can run a 7 minute mile to take his picture... so not only do I have to chase him down, I have to be in front of him, get my camera ready and shoot. Now given my coordination, I wasn't very good at that and ended up with some out of focused shots. I also had to switch from a long lens to a short one and in the middle somewhere, I had turned either the camera off or the auto focus off, so I didn't get any shots of him as he run past, although it would've looked really cool, judging from the viewfinder...

so I ended up with this:

I contend that I would've done better if this wasn't slapped into my lap an hour before and if the guy ran slower... or if the 2 other people who ran would've let me take their pics...

Anyway, at least I made a new facebook friend, Alex, and he seems really cool. And he can run very well, which already piqued my interest cause I love to run and people who run make me feel at home. Well, most of them... the not so competitive ones... like Alex. And a lot of my other friends are also runners... I need to train... I'd like to eventually run a marathon...

But anyway, Atlanta.

So I didn't update for a while because I was in Atlanta. Well, Duluth, really. And it's being petitioned to be another town/city, the part I was in. I took my best friend home, it was kind of like a mini-mini-road trip, which was nice. Went Karaokeing and realized that my singing actually sounds quite awful. But it's still fun and I'd still do it. I have the coolest best friend, and he gets cooler every year, and we only see each other about once a year. So yeah, that's about it for now. Oh yeh, and I spent like 50 dollars at a used book store last week, I should start reading again... Over and out.

I am not dead, heels and moving forward

2006-07-26T15:28:00.000-04:00

Starting off with an assignment:

Taking this photo was a chore. I didn't want anybody to model the shoes cause I'd take a long time and the idea of looking at someone's feet for more than 5 minutes kind of creeps me out. But the placement of the shoes were hard too, cause they look kind of awkward in the first place and look really weird no matter how I arrange them. So I finally found this placement that looked ok, but it was really hard to get it to stay. (hey, that rhymes.) Anyway, hope it looks ok.

Now that that's over, I can be egotistical and talk about myself.

So I got back from Corolla, N.C., a few days ago, the beach was very relaxing and it was really awesome to spend time with my best friend. He actually came home with me and I feel kind of bad not getting this week off too to hang out with him more. But I got Thursday and Friday off so I'll take him home then and be gone for a bit again. (rhyme again?)

The beach was actually kind of crowded, but still fun, full of jetskiing goodness, sunbathing, getting buried in the sand and most importantly, delicious homecooking and Dynasty Warriors 4. I went to a beach near Sunset Beach, N.C., with Andy a few months ago, it was really nice cause no one was there. Photos of both beaches later.

Nutshell:
-Don't burn yourself with a candle. Especially before going to the beach. Especially with a fake candle, one of those with a lightbulb in the shape of a flame.
-Jig-saw puzzles are fun, but don't get ones with oddly shaped pieces and about 700 pieces of the same shade and color.
-Jetskis hurt your butt when going over 60 mph.
-Fincastle's burgers are the hottness.
-Superman Returns doesn't have anything after the credits like X3 does.
-Spiderman 3 is coming out next May and it looks awesome.
-P.F. Chang's is good good food. (rhyme!)

Freaky meetings:
John (My best friend from elementary school who moved to Georgia in the middle of fifth grade.) and I stopped in Raleigh on the way back from the beach, just like we did two years ago, and visited Kate. No horny goat weed, arbor myst, jayzz, juvenile delinquent center nor crappy karaoke this time, though...

Then the conincidences began. As we entered her apartment, she called out "Davis." And lo and behold, there was Davis, who went to high school with me. The night before, they had a party, and Clarke was there, who also went to high school with Davis and me. He also goes to college with John. And then Charles came up in conversation, who went to high school with Clarke, Davis and me, and who also went to elementary school with John and me. So yeh it was a freaky little web of connections and I am totally confused now with so many names... I am my own grandpa?

Moving forward:
I was driving home to lunch today and I discovered that it was a little hard to switch my perception to the car being still and everything moving around it. But I managed it for a second and it totally freaked me out. But it was kind of trippy and awesome. Whee.

Beach and bike

2006-07-15T15:49:00.000-04:00

I'm going to the beach for a week, so I probably won't post for a week, unless I feel the urge to put up some amazing pics of the beach up during the week...

Meanwhile, I leave you with images of my new bike, helmet and gloves I got last week. I didn't really know how to ride a bike until recently, thanks to the effort of several patient teachers... But I think I might be doing something wrong, cause my butt hurts whenever I'm done... or is that normal? I hope it doesn't damage anything important...

Kids are so cute

2006-07-14T23:34:00.000-04:00

I spent all day yesterday hanging around a bunch of kids for a possible story. It was kind of fun. I wish I had a little brother and I could teach him everything about photography. That would be so neat. So that got me remembering the time I went to the daycare center "Academy of Spoiled Babies" for some photos. I was suppose to send them some... Haven't got the time yet... heh...

Mayodan Racing

2006-07-13T21:20:00.000-04:00

Today I bring you something I shot a while ago for the Rockingham edition of the N&R, same edition that the rodeo will run in. I worked with the same reporter, too. We turned out a pretty cool photo-page out of that. It was pretty schweet. With the "ch". It was pretty fun to cover, too. It was in Mayodan. Right near Madison, N.C., if that means anything to anybody... It's on a go-cart racetrack they have there. It's pretty cool. I was pretty satisfied with the shots I got from there.

My second brothers

2006-07-12T09:22:00.000-04:00

Moving away from the theme of posting assignments I do for the News and Record, here's something that's important to me. Or rather, people who are very important to me. I grew up with these guys in church pretty much since I've been in the United States. For almost as long as I can remember. Their family is like a second family to me, and it's hard for me when something happens to them, especially since I'm not sure what to do as I am not biologically related to them. But I might as well be.

The guy on the ground is Brandon, he's older than me and knows a lot about cars. And the other kid is Nick, he's younger than me, but in many ways, he's really more mature and older than I am. We were suppose to be babysitting some kids, essentially, but we ended up just horsing around a lot.

Recently their grandmother has been afflicted with illness and may soon pass away. I'd like to be able to help them in some way. I don't know what to do though, other than just being there. I can't really think of anything else to add. So yeah, my brothers. I'll eventually post something about my biological brother.

El Rodeo? Jaripeos?

2006-07-11T21:02:00.000-04:00

Here are the long-awaited rodeo pics. They are not that great. But they are decent. My favorite are the two at the bottom with the dancing and the sunset.
I'm not entirely satisfied with these, I might take them off of here later, just cause they aren't that good...

Repost: Monique

2006-07-10T21:23:00.000-04:00

I haven't got much today. Shot part of my story today and it wasn't quite as exciting as I thought it would be. But I kind of dug myself into it, so I might as well finish it. At least I get to learn from my mistakes and more about picking stories to do, which I think is something I really need to work on. I also finished editing the rodeo stuff, it's also not that great and it's on the newsroom server at the moment, so I will put some up later.

In the meantime (ain't it always the case? maybe I should just post every thing a few days after the fact and treat it as some that happened yesterday?), here's a repost of the stuff on Monique I did a week or so back that I posted over at livejournal. Everyone who's seen it seems to like it a lot. The subject is really cool. But I think I could've done a better job on it.

Originally posted June 25, 2006 on livejournal:

Here're some pics from a story on Monique, who stands at about two feet tall, and who is also an artist and scholar student. Check out the article on the News and Record website, the article is by Tina Firesheets, called "Life on a different scale." Captions later... maybe... if I feel like it... haha...

Reunion: so they did have class rings back then.

2006-07-09T22:36:00.000-04:00

Rodeo went alright, less people than expected. Less action than expected. Less need to know Spanish than expected, although everything was officially in Spanish and I had no clue of what was going on past the first hour of when I got there... more later.

So I covered a reunion a couple of days ago. Not too exciting, a lot of meet and greet. I got some okay stuff out of it. Here they are: (too tired for captions right now...)

It was the Class of '71 from Dudley Senior High School. I was very stupid and asked "So did you guys have class rings back then?" At which point they all laughed and I felt like an ass. Then one of the ladies showed it to me. I took a photo but it was blurry. Hm.

The extension of my being.

2006-07-08T11:08:00.000-04:00

The stuff I shot last night is on the newsroom server and I can't get to it at the minute, so I'll post it later. Meanwhile, I'm getting ready to shoot a Latino Rodeo in a few hours, where they probably will not speak English and I will not be able to speak Spanish. So I will let you know how that goes... If I don't get trampled by a bull while trying to chase down someone for a name, once I figure out how to do that without speaking Spanish.

In the mean time, I leave you all with an image of the extension of my being:

Now imagine that, except with Jessica Alba in a bikini holding it.

Waiting for the moment and the moment is gone.

2006-07-07T15:30:00.000-04:00

So my first attempt at actually shooting baseball for the paper took place last night.

It wasn't all that bad. A lot of waiting. And then everything happens and I miss it.

I got to play around with the 400mm F/2.8 lens though. It was really heavy and really cool. I wore my new bike gloves to carry it so I don't get calluses on my hands... did I spell that right?

I like my new bike gloves. I got a new bike. I don't really know how to ride a bike. Starting to learn though... Maybe I'll put up a pic of the bike later.

So back to baseball. I thought baseball games last forever, but I only shot an hour of it and then rushed to get it edited and sent off for the 930 deadline (game started at 7). But by the time I was done and packing up, the game was over. I guess it's shorter than I thought it was.

Anyway, here's another photo of the game that's decent:

This guy ran into another guy on the way to third, it was a huge collision and the other guy fell flat on his face. It looked wicked cool. Except I totally missed it, even though I was following D'Antonio the whole time. Fk.

A belated fourth

2006-07-06T15:31:00.000-04:00

Happy belated 4th to everyone. A little late, I admit. But I had to work.

All I really had to do was take a shot of the fireworks. It was suppose to be simple. I arrived extra early so I could plan the perfect shot so it would make front page. But nothing ever goes according to plan. About 30 minutes before the fireworks was to start, I had chosen my angle, framed it to perfection, got to know the people in front of me really well. Also had a very nice storyline. And then the guy over the speaker says: "Everyone please seek shelter. There is a storm coming."

And so I lost my angle and my story. Waited in the car for an hour. I was hoping it would get cancelled so I wouldn't have to scramble to get something on the spot.

But of course, the fireworks were still on. People flooded back into the stadium and before everyone even settles down and just like 30 seconds after I set up my camera... the fireworks started. My silhouette plan totally did not work and the people faded into the darkness. I needed a face so I turned to my right and shot the first person I saw. She was holding an umbrella. Thank goodness for unplanned compostional elements... and then 3 shots of her and it starts pouring and the fireworks rushed to an end. Everyone runs away, I chase down the lady for a name, get very wet, rush back to edit, all just so I could get a very tiny pic on the jump in black and white. Of the lady and not the fireworks. woot.

An introduction to nothing.

2006-07-05T23:28:00.000-04:00

This is me:

Photo by Kelly Pace/Greensboro News & Record

Right now, I'm a photographer. Tomorrow? Who knows?

Life is full of changes, day by day, year by year. It seems cliche. But maybe it's cliche for a reason.

Here's a breakdown of my life since 1986:

-Jan. 12, 1986, I was born in Hong Kong, China. To this day I'm not entirely sure what I should affliated my self with. China? Great Britain? Hong Kong? US? Doesn't really matter I guess.

-Between 1986-1994, I did some growing up with great help from my family and my cousins Dicky and Ruby and various aunts, uncles, and other cousins. There were some colorful moments I remember vividly. Most everything else is now blurry as a dream.
-In 1994 I went to North Carolina and that's where I am now, with a great group of friends and friends as close as family.
-Between 1994 and 2004, I mulled through school, picking up some skills along the way. I think. My path was to go to medical school. Not sure where I got that idea, but that was the plan.
-And then I got into photography. I guess towards the turn of the millenium, maybe the planets aligned in some weird way... photography became a bigger part of my life. Until recently I decided to pursue that more. Instead of medicine? maybe. maybe not. I dunno.
-Things I say a lot: "oops," "sorry," and "I dunno." What can I say? I got nothin'

For past thoughts, visit addressunknown.livejournal.com

Or consider this: